It has been a rather difficult year for me. and I'm sad to say this fledgling blog got left by the wayside. As I draw nearer to begin submitting my work for publication I realized that my story was as of yet, incomplete. And that will just not do. It will not do at all.
At the Convention of Caina treaties were signed and pacts made to ensure the new-found peace. But many of those who had entered into these agreements did so with deception on their tongues and in their hearts. It was not but three months of peace enjoyed until a secret sect exacted their revenge upon the Guardians who would bind their hands. Three months after the Convention at Caina the Guardians had dispersed to their homelands to continue their training with their mentors, the Lieutenants. Three months had the people had the chance to begin to repair their lives and for some to start anew. Three months the land enjoyed peace. Three months before mages would learn the true power of the elemental beings.
For in those three months had the secret sect planned with like-minded beings who resented the restrictions placed on their kind. And in three month's time, their most powerful members struck at each of the Guardians all at once. Their scheme was well planned and within the space of a single hour each Guardian had been subdued and slain. They who had plotted against the Lieutenant's companions sought to hide themselves and feign their innocence. For they still had little idea as to the true power of the Elements.
At the Convention of Caina treaties were signed and pacts made to ensure the new-found peace. But many of those who had entered into these agreements did so with deception on their tongues and in their hearts. It was not but three months of peace enjoyed until a secret sect exacted their revenge upon the Guardians who would bind their hands. Three months after the Convention at Caina the Guardians had dispersed to their homelands to continue their training with their mentors, the Lieutenants. Three months had the people had the chance to begin to repair their lives and for some to start anew. Three months the land enjoyed peace. Three months before mages would learn the true power of the elemental beings.
For in those three months had the secret sect planned with like-minded beings who resented the restrictions placed on their kind. And in three month's time, their most powerful members struck at each of the Guardians all at once. Their scheme was well planned and within the space of a single hour each Guardian had been subdued and slain. They who had plotted against the Lieutenant's companions sought to hide themselves and feign their innocence. For they still had little idea as to the true power of the Elements.
It sure said "Three months" a lot. I'm sure you did that on purpose, but I found it not fun to read over and over again. If you finished writing out your book, and typing it up, where is it? Did you have people read it and check it for typos and whatnot? 40,000 words isn't very long, about 100 pages right? I wrote what I thought was short story based on a dream of mine in three parts. It ended up being 30,000 words I think and maybe 90 pages, so it wasn't much of a short story at that point and I gave up editing it any more because I was tired of rewriting it so much by then. I would have fun reading whatever story you have.
ReplyDeleteI agree with what Jelarin had commented. Is there a reason why you are emphasizing three months? I like your attention to detail and your use of evocative language. Your writing seems wordy. Is there any way that you can make it concise?
ReplyDeleteOther than that, I'm really looking forward to reading more of this story. Do you have the rest of it posted somewhere online?